Adults often believe that children are too young or fragile to understand the reality of death, but generally, this is not the case. Children will feel the same emotions as adults do. They may feel and show their grief in different ways depending on their age, the support they received during this time, and how close they were to the deceased.
It’s important to remember that grief is natural, and there are some age-appropriate ways to support children through this process.
- Help For Infants and Toddlers (Ages 0 – 3). While children at this age may not necessarily understand the concept of death, they do react to the emotions of adults and can sense a change in their schedule. Signs of grief at this age can include increased crying and temper tantrums. Providing physical comfort through hugs can help soothe a grieving child. Sometimes, reading to a grieving child is a good idea to kickstart the healing process, as children may identify with a character in the book.
- Help For Preschool Children (Ages 3 – 5). At this age, preschool children will have some understanding of death. Often, they may think that death is reversible, like in cartoons, and you’ll find they’ll have a lot of questions about death. Some signs that indicate your child is grieving include increased anxiety that comes across as demanding or clingy, withdrawal from normal behavior, and physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches. How can you help? Start by being patient and attentive. Reassure your child that the death was not their fault and that they are loved. Reading books is also good at this age.
- Help For School-Aged (6 – 9). School-aged children are beginning to understand that death is final and may be curious about the physical details of how a loved one passed away. Answering their questions honestly and sticking to facts during this time is important. Be sure to reassure them that it’s normal to feel scared, angry, or sad. Letting children participate in the funeral or memorial can help make the situation more real and allow children at this age to find grief a growing process.
- Help For Preteens and Teens (10+). By the time children reach ages ten and up, they may have a better understanding of death, and this is final. They’ll begin to ask more questions about death, family faith, and other beliefs as they form their own opinions on concepts like faith. During this time, you can help them cope with grief by using books, encouraging them to speak, and allowing them to participate in family rituals like memorials.
Compassionate Support at Orange Hospice
The care team at Orange Hospice in California understands that emotional and spiritual pain is just as important as physical pain. This is why we have a team of spiritual counselors who offer nonjudgmental spiritual care and bereavement care for families of our patients. Bereavement support is available for up to 13 months after a loved one passes away because our commitment to care extends beyond the patient’s life. Hospice isn’t just about helping patients—it’s about supporting the entire family during and after this difficult journey.
To learn more about our bereavement services and how we can support your family, contact Orange Hospice at (714) 790-0594.
